About this time last year, my wife and I set out with tax refund in hand to purchase a new toaster. Something had happened to our old toaster - I don’t remember what. Let’s say it was some kind of explosion.

We went to Wal-Mart. My feelings about Wal-Mart are perfectly clear. But we got sucked in by the low, low prices and we were driving by a Wal-Mart when we decided to make our purchase.

We stood there and looked at the toasters and I had this epiphany that they’re all the same - you put bread in and it makes the bread warm and brown and why do we need to spend more than the $7 that one right there costs?

So we bought the $7 toaster and it was a good toaster except for the following small issues:

• The bread stuck out of the top of the toaster while it was toasting.
• The lowest setting either left frozen waffles frozen or severely burnt.
• Anything toasted at 1 would be in the toaster anywhere between ten seconds and five minutes.
• The outside of the toaster reached unsafe heat levels.
• Right before it popped, you could hear the sound of an electrical surge.
• Most bagels were too wide for the slots.

But if you’re in the market for a cheap toaster that isn’t good for toasting, I’d recommend this model. (Full disclosure: That’s not actually the toaster. It’s a different $7 toaster at Wal-Mart, and it actually looks way nicer than the one we bought.)

We finally got rid of the toaster after we realized that no frozen waffle is worth burning our apartment to the ground over and we bought a new one. My wife wouldn’t tell me how much it cost. Bread fits inside of it and I just learned that the little button with the red light and the picture of the bagel under it is a special “bagel setting.”

Still, I wouldn’t have paid more than $7 for it.